The different trials in life are always interesting. As with many families, it typically starts with a few activities. Little Susie or Tommy starts to tinker with a group activity here or there. It may start with soccer, move on to dance, ballet or gymnastics. All fantastic group activities that build lifelong skills. During this time of self-exploration and self-discovery, it is common to dismiss things while your child finds their calling or passion. It is also typical for us dads to lose interest in supporting our young ones as they bounce from activity to activity because they can’t seem to stick to anything. Then it happens… they walk into the Allstar Cheerleading gym.

As I enter my fourth year in an Allstar cheer gym I have seen the complete cycle of dad interaction. During the first year of Allstar Cheerleading,  dads will cautiously approach the building, scan the area, scope out their territory etc. As they gingerly tip toe into what in their mind is a scary place. No matter what team the child is on, the father will ultimately find the furthest, quietest corner in the building and plop a squat. As they begin to scan the room they are desperately seeking another dad.

Upon observation dads normally have this sequence of emotions.

1. Well, this is not the type of Cheerleading that I imagined.
2. This is a very disciplined organization.
3. Why do we spend so much time/ money here?
4. The coaches are not playing here are they?
5. HOLY MOLY did you see that? How did they do that? and so on…
6. Now I see why we spend so much time/money here.

If you are fortunate enough to have Worlds team in your building the mere sight of what that team is doing on the mats will peak a new dad’s interest. Typically, it starts with them shooting up out of their seat and possibly uttering something inappropriate under their breath. Then the first competition starts and things get complicated for dads. I have seen many responses and you can typically place a dad in each one of these buckets.

1. The overwhelmed dad– This Dad is intimidated by the entire experience. He is not sure how to respond to the competitions, the practice schedule, the intensity level, the overall commitment. He simply does not know where he fits in.
2. The Dismissive dad– This is not my thing. I am a hardcore Football/ Baseball/ Hockey/ Basketball Dad and Allstar Cheerleading is not my thing but I will go, and duck out quickly.
3.  The Passive dad-Who is busy being focused on his career and providing for his family. Will listen to the trials and tribulations, but will come to a few competitions if any. Certainly will be supportive but from afar.
4. The All-In dad– You will find this Dad front and center. Probably knows more about the score sheet and rival teams than he should. Decked out in gym attire and may occasionally over-compensate by wearing a silly costume or make an over the top sign. In the severe cases, has written a book or writes a blog (Ahem..)

I could go on and on about the different types of dads. The Dads listed above are all equally important no-one is any better than the other, and all have a role to help with the success of their son or daughter in this incredible sport. No matter where you fit in the Dad spectrum in Allstar Cheerleading, overwhelmingly there is one thing that I would ask you to give your athlete no matter what age or level.

The one thing Allstar Cheerleaders need from their dads is a CHANCE. Give them an opportunity to win you over and share their amazing experience. The Allstar Cheerleading community is a very tight-knit group. Once you enter the inner circle, the life lessons you will observe (once you give this sport a chance) will live up to any perceived expectation you could ever dream of. Our sons and daughters only need one thing from us and that is an effort to show genuine interest in their team and passion.

Some dads can be very intimidated by this and that is ok. If you are not sure how this whole thing works, I would ask you to do one simple thing. Take a moment and ask your son and daughter how this whole Allstar Cheerleading thing goes down. I promise, you will not understand what a full-up, a half or a smush is, and that is ok. The mere question you ask will mean so much to them. You will be a hero in their eyes. If you feel more comfortable sharing old war stories when you were a kid and persevered in a sport, even better.

Every minute you spend with them rubs off on them. Every story, every moral, every hug, every kiss, every time you discipline them, every time you make them go to practice when they don’t want to, every time you wipe away their tears, every time you buy them dippin dots at the competition, every time they see you show compassion when things don’t go as planned on the mats– it all rubs off. Your kindness, your wisdom, your examples, your lame jokes. They all rub off. We have some pretty amazing dads in our gym. We like to recruit more.

Remember, you’re molding a little life here, a very impressionable little mind, and you are your kid’s role model. Their hero. Show them how it’s supposed to be done in your own way. You do not have to be over the top or costume dad. Just give them a chance to show you what they have with their team. You will mess up a lot. (as I certainly have).  As your child grows older, you’ll be amazed at how you two wind up having so much in common both in success and in failure. Why is that? Because he or she is just like his/her dad and you knew enough to give them a chance to include you in their journey.